This is Michael He (Huh).
November 2021
I wrote a long list for my eighteen-year-old self in the summer. It is similar to this college guide but longer and more opinionated. I asked some friends about their favorite pointers, so you can see the (objectively) best ones.
Special thanks to Theo, J.J, Alex, Andrew, and Samuel for their help and comments. Samuel contributed significantly to my initial draft and revising process. He has my sincere thanks. Please check out his excellent letter to first year college students.
So here we go, things I wish I'd known as a new college student!
Know the difference between solitude and loneliness. It's okay to be by yourself. Being comfortable with who you are is important.
Have a high tolerance for so-called "failures" and "mistakes". Risks are not that risky. The important caveat is knowing which failures and mistakes will permanently ruin you and never do them. As Charlie Munger famously says, "All I want to know is where I’m going to die, so I’ll never go there." Classic ruinous behaviors include betrayal, substance addiction, toxic behavior, and gambling.
Corollary: be highly receptive to these “failures” and “mistakes”. Do not seek danger, but find the Goldilocks sweet spot between true danger and cowardice disguised as the “comfort zone”.
My GPA rule: 80% As and 20% Bs are more than enough unless the goal is elite graduate school. Care about your true performance (which depends on your goals), not the proxy number (GPA).
Overachievers exist, but the 5 AM to midnight types (e.g. vloggers) are at the bottom of the elite student food chain. Pain Olympics is meaningless because every participant loses.
Burnout resets all advantages accumulated, so don't kill yourself with work and stress. You should get burnout once early on, so you will never do it again. Trying too hard is like grabbing onto a bar of soap tightly. It slips out of your hand even more.
Befriend ONE professor. Make sure your personalities match, so there is a connection in the first place. Make a good impression by writing cold emails, going to office hours, asking questions, and getting coffee or donuts. There is no trick but sincerity and compatibility.
Know how to write good emails. Good emails get straight to the point, have no fat, and are pleasant to read (containing no rude language or grammar errors). Be sincere and authentic, so professors would want to meet you in person. Make good use of bullet points and multiple paragraphs.
Think for yourself.
The things you are taught are not always true, no matter how charismatic or distinguished your professors may be. You may need some courage to disagree and find the answers you consider true.
People giving advice are largely doing this for their past self, so don't take advice too seriously. Remember, everyone has unique circumstances that no advice can account for.
Find a writing partner for school and hopefully for life. If you can’t find one, time to meet some new people and make friends!
Always go to class. Dress like you mean it. Even a clean outfit with a hoodie and jeans will do.
Select classes not based on content, but on the professor and the students. Good professors can make a boring subject fascinating and bad professors can ruin the most interesting and important topics. Your classmates can also wreak havoc in their own way.
Embrace spontaneity.
Don't overload yourself, as this will lead to burnout. There are plenty of cool things that you can do. Focus on a few and do them well. Work intensely during the semester and do nothing during the break, you are guaranteed to feel nasty and negative.
Go first. Initiate. Start the reciprocation chain. Smile and greet others by their name. Chances are they will do the same.
Make time for friends, both old and new. This is your priority and the best way to show them that you care. Don't take them for granted. Meet friends organically, choose friends deliberately.
Know when you normally lose focus and save the focused time for important work. Naps may help. Samuel's helpful advice: wear no headphones and close your eyes for fifteen or twenty minutes during the middle of the day.
Avoid calendar Tetris at all costs. If you always need a phone to know what's going on, you have a big problem. Re-structure life to make such a packed schedule go away, or burnout will be waiting around the corner.
Read something interesting every day.
Consistent sleep and exercise are investments with massive payouts in all aspects of life. The lack of sleep is associated with many issues - health, mood, social interaction quality, especially mental health. Aim for seven hours or more each night. Move your body in a fun way, whether it's tennis, rock climbing, or brisk walking with your favorite music. Do not neglect these daily habits.
Embrace spontaneity. No room for spontaneity equals a boring life and 100% chance of emotional burnout. Not if, but when.
See people for who they truly are: faulty creatures. If you really understand this, then you can forgive yourself and others easier. Similarly, a bit of cynicism may help defuse anger.
Be careful with the people you associate yourself with, especially those who easily get offended and will take extreme actions for rather trivial matters. Be wary of those with a warped sense of justice and poor judgement. Don't end up being one of these people.
People giving advice are largely doing this for their past self, so don't take advice too seriously. Remember, everyone has unique circumstances that no advice can account for.
Choose systems and general principles, not specific to-do lists or extensive planning. Life is not ONE chess game. Play infinite games.
Have high tolerance for so-called "failures" and "mistakes". Risks are not that risky. The important caveat is knowing which failure and mistake will permanently ruin you and never do them. As Charlie Munger famously says, "All I want to know is where I’m going to die, so I’ll never go there." Classic ruinous behaviors include betrayal, substance addiction, toxic behavior, and gambling.
Corollary: make reversible bets and take risks with asymmetrical and uncapped upside. As Mohnish Pabrai says, heads I win, tails I don't lose much.
Have a bigger destination in mind. You can use that to backtrack to your current life and focus on the few things you need to consistently do over the long term.
Corollary: have a big project and always work on it in whatever way possible. Bigger projects tether and ground you. They give you a benchmark to compare things life will throw at you without your decisions based only on your temporary feelings or outside influence. Your environment and social interactions are also sometimes outside of your control.
Perform self-hypnosis by making your bed and dressing nicely every day. This signals your subconsciousness that you can and want to achieve things in life.
Know how to write good emails. Good emails get straight to the point, have no extra fat, and are pleasant to read with no rude language or grammar errors. Be sincere and authentic, so professors would want to meet you in person. Make good use of bullet points and multiple paragraphs.
Recognize the value and trap of summers. If you focus on the “what did you do in the summer” part, then you will do anything to not “waste” time, similar to dating just to not be left out. Instead, think about the realistic options you have and the long-term impact each may bring. For example, how do you choose between a summer job at the mall and a mission trip to Mexico? What about an internship at a tech startup and summer research? There’s no right answer, but you do have to think for yourself on this one.
Note: since Andrew's initiation list was several pages long, I only took points he specifically marked here. Thank you for the extra support.
Regularly visit people that inspire you, regardless of age and prestige level. Listen to what they have to say and do whatever you can for them to repay the learning opportunity.
Choose people wisely and spend most of your time with those you deliberately choose. In terms of human relationships, quality first, quality second, quality last.
Be positive with other people. Say something encouraging every hour you are not alone.
Laugh.
Befriend ONE professor. Make sure your personalities match, so there is a connection in the first place. Make a good impression by writing cold emails, going to office hours, asking questions, and getting coffee or donuts. There is no trick but all sincerity and compatibility.
Competition focuses us on the people around us, and while we get better at the things we’re competing on, we lose sight of anything that’s important, or transcendent, or truly meaningful in our world. Remember why you started something and stay true to that. Credit to Peter Thiel and Samuel.
Find a method to escape from competition, even if temporarily. I take solo walks with classical music. My friends play piano, work out, study the Bible, scream…
Sleep is the best daily investment on everything in life - health, mood, interaction with others, productivity. The lack of sleep is also associated with many mental health issues. Aim for at least 7 hours (and Michael is a bad example of this lesson).
Corollary: never do all-nighters. If you do, it’s time to re-examine your current life and schedule.
Eat healthily. Whole foods. Complex carbs and fiber. Vegetable and fruits. Protein and fats.
Build strength, endurance, and flexibility. All aches and pains start somewhere from your teens and 20s.
Do not study in your room. Have a few places to rotate your studying sessions. Have one or more secret study spaces for real concentration. If you can, eave digital devices behind for serious studying and work sessions, if you can.
Before group work, always do prep work. Find people who do that and you will never lollygag.
The more jargon your writing has, the worse you are at writing. That's because you can't get to the point and make yourself easy to understand. “If your writing sounds like an academic paper, you're doing it wrong” - Samuel.
Know that cash-back or points or perks should not be the reason you spend money. You spend money because you need to in some way that you won’t regret.
Go first. Initiate. Start the reciprocation chain. Smile and greet others by their name. Chances are they will do the same.
Write complimentary emails and nice cards. Be sincere. Appreciation goes a long way.
Buy little gifts for people you care about or appreciate. Thoughtfully written notes work well. Add a cookie or a muffin to make it even sweeter.
Aim to read and reflect on the Bible every day. Even a few minutes and one verse will do.
Simplicity trumps everything else, including building your habits and routines.
Start each day with a small win, no matter what you prefer to do. In other words, eat the frog.
Perform self-hypnosis by making your bed and dressing nicely every day. This signals your subconsciousness that you can and want to do things in life.
Be positive with other people. Say something encouraging every hour you are not alone.
Laugh.
The desire for true understanding renders all studying techniques unimportant.
If there is something you know you should pay attention to but you don't, chances are they are important decisions you are running away from. Learn to properly listen to the emotional self inside.
Learn to say no. Learn to give up. Learn to let go. Recognize the similarities and differences between these three.
Those who don't understand compounding will pay for those who do. Compounding applies to everything, so really take the time to understand it.
Understand that student debt without deliberate consideration is consumption, not investment. There is no expected nor guaranteed rate of return, but you bear all the risk. Consider similar situations in life, when the consensus could not be more wrong from reality, and bet against them.
Learn how to learn, unlearn, and relearn. Credit to Samuel.
Listen better. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19-20
It takes twenty years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin one. Warren Buffett
Continue to listen to God and do His work.
Be open minded. Assume people have good intent. Never put 100% emphasis on “impact” or anything you can shift the yardstick without any resistance, because you will do that eventually.
Start fast and end slow. Speed matters in life because the initiation part can get very difficult.
Corollary: The more important something gets over time, such as relationship, health, and judgement, the slower and more consistent you should be.
Corollary: Some important things have expiration dates. Aim to execute well and quickly for those.
Learn to prioritize very few things and let everything else revolve around them. In my case, the order of priority is God, health, people, school/work, and the rest. Say no to things if they go against this list and order.
Learn and master the concept of opportunity costs. It extends beyond money. Every decision is a no to something else. Not doing something is also a decision.
Learn and master the concept of marginality, especially in terms of productivity and fulfillment. Know when to stop.
The most important 1% of decisions should take 99% of your time and mental bandwidth.
Corollary: The deeper you think about something, the quicker you should make the decision when the time comes. Knowledge should incite movement, not paralysis.
The environment shapes you, not the other way around.
Corollary: Do not seek to change the environment or people around you for that matter.
No matter what you choose to focus on, once you have decided, pay your dues in full.
Eat healthily. Whole foods. Complex carbs and fiber. Vegetable and fruits. Protein and fats.
Build strength, endurance, and flexibility. All aches and pains start somewhere from your teens and 20s.
Before getting swept up in the competitions that define so much of life, ask yourself whether you even want the prize. Peter Thiel.
Compete via zig-zag. Differentiate yourself and become so good that no one else can substitute you. Do it with conviction and confidence.
Don't do all your reading for class. First, reality makes it impossible. Figure out which texts to focus on. Second, work backwards - use assignments and exams to figure out the important texts to read. Third, any reading list is curated with an agenda, so blindly following one guarantees involuntary indoctrination of some sort.
Ask one question every lecture (or event for that matter). Write down the response, so you can remember why you had that question in the first place. Assume someone else also has the same question, so you avoid inaction from the bystander effect. The byproduct is you will stand out.
Take at least three days/stages to write paper. Stage 1 is ideation, outline, and finding sources. Stage 2 is writing the actual paper. Stage 3 is revision. Each stage is hard on its own and you need to tackle it with your all.
The desire for true understanding renders all studying techniques unimportant.
The best jobs still come from referrals, so always be open-minded and open-hearted.
Clear writing makes you stand out in any field, especially those not associated with writing (such as computer science, engineering, medicine, etc.). Good writing rewards you for years to come.
Understand that expense minus income must be positive to not starve. If the result is negative, then you need to turn this ship around. People can always find place to spend less money.
Hope you enjoy this series. Please share it if you find it helpful!